Train related poems

Recently I've gotten into writing poetry. It was inspired by a trip to a poetry evening at the Big Comfy Bookshop, which is in a recent post (here). Whether this hobby lasts or not is yet to be seen, but in the meantime I've written some stuff about what I think are humorous events in my life. So, the following two poems are about one day just before Easter in 2015, when I was returning home for, well, Easter. I'd had to get 3 different trains, starting at Manchester Piccadilly. On that day, fate had decided I would have all my allocated yearly train related issues. So the first poem is about the first train I had to get and how I managed to lengthen my journey duration just a tad.

That Time I Stopped A Train

I'd arrived at the platform, where was my train?
So to the departure board my head did strain,
12:05 Manchester to Leeds,
Delayed in Liverpool - not what one needs!

It wasn't long until I was on board,
I was rushed in, as part of the hoard.
Clutching my bag, I soon found a wall,
Somewhere to lean and try not to fall.

Fields and trees quickly flashed by,
But the train couldn't make time, though it did try.
Yet, what happened next didn't help much either,
As the train decided to take a quick breather.

Middle of the Pennines, we ground to a halt,
A voice said "THIS IS THE DRIVER - WHAT IS THE FAULT?"
Was he talking to everyone, with his voice so shrill?
Not everyone, as I turned and saw the speaker grill.

It was talking to me - and I suddenly saw why
An emergency stop, leant on by I!
No glass to break, nothing to smash,
Just a lever to push, quick as a flash.

To make it worse, I saw the blue sign:
Penalty for improper use - a £200 fine!
What could I do - where could I go?
I had to be fast, time was running low.

Jump off the train? That's a big no.
Run to another carriage? Again - no.
So I stood, I waited and I stressed,
Then the driver arrived and I confessed.

"I'm an idiot" I said - "I made a mistake"
"How do I pay? What do you take?"
Then he said, in a way most sublime;
"Don't worry mate, it happens all the time"

I was amazed, relieved and astounded,
At how ridiculous that had sounded
And I was offered a seat, which I gladly took,
Out of the way, I stuck my head in my book.

We eventually rolled in,
I sat and waited for the crowds to thin,
Then I stepped off that train and thought about my trip,
About that lever that was so easy to flip.


So that above was the story of how I stopped a train. Luckily I didn't miss my connection, which from what I remember was a fairly pleasant journey - up until the end. So read on and find out about a time my new train-stopping abilities would have come in handy.

That Time I Missed My Train

Here comes Peterborough, oh here we go,
We're pulling in now, a tad too slow,
I've got a train to catch, so speed would be fab,
My final connection, just one train to grab.

We've pulled in late, I know it's true,
As my six minute gap has dropped to two,
I'm at the door, the light turns green,
I'm out in a flash, such speed you've never seen!

It's platform one and I'm at four,
It's time to sprint, let the pedal hit the floor,
Down the platform, up the stairs,
Back down, platform four and the whistle blares.

A high pitched shriek, it's time to panic,
No no no - what is this trick?!
I run to the beast and without a care,
I scream at it "DON'T YOU DARE!"

It doesn't hear, or pretends not to listen,
As it pulls away, I'm on a mission,
I smack at the doors, hoping they'll work,
No such luck, this train is a jerk.

Only one thing left with sweat on my brow,
I shout "COME BACK HERE RIGHT NOW!"
And "YOU STUPID TRAIN, COME BACK!"
What was I expecting? I'd forgotten all tact.

And so it left, without me of course,
I must have spooked it, much like a horse,
The station silence then pierced by laughter,
Fair enough, I couldn't have looked dafter.